Paramore Crowns Latest Golden Paddle Winner or Whatever

Paramore Crowns Latest Golden Paddle Winner or Whatever

For the 6th time in 10 Paramore ping pong tournaments, Content Director Matthew Burch has won the highly coveted Golden Paddle. During what appears to be a dynasty run, Matt has done it again with his very serious approach to the game.

“I thought this was supposed to be fun,” said one crying opponent.

“Matt knows what’s at stake. Matt doesn’t want any distraction. Matt could care less about camaraderie. Matt is all about that paddle of gold,” said Matt, the champ.

Blake Allen couldn’t be reached for comment.